Apparently, the story "The Pineapple and the Hare" by Daniel Pinkwater, was on the ISAT (Illinois Standard Achievement Test), also used as a NoChildLeftBehind measurement tool. (It measures the school, not the child.)
It's some sort of retelling of the Tortise and the Hare, here are my DearDaughter's words:"Way back when, animals could talk. And so could fruit. Just like us! So the Pineapple challenges the Hare to a race. Everyone expects the Hare to win, but then someone figures that the Pineapple has a trick up it's sleeve, and that the trick is some great and glorious plan that will allow it to beat the Hare. Since the other animals don't want to look like idiots by rooting for a loser, so they all root for the Pineapple.The race starts, Hare dashes off, blah blah blah. And Pineapple doesn't move an inch. (he doesn't have legs! see?)
Hare wins the race, comes back, and then everyone eats the Pineapple."
At this point I almost choke on dinner, what kind of story IS this? So the author has anthropomorphized the Pineapple, but then allows the rest of the characters to eat him?? Eww.Hare wins the race, comes back, and then everyone eats the Pineapple."
"Now if that wasn't weird enough, it actually says, right there in bold letters at the end of the story,
Moral of the Story: Pineapples don't have sleeves."
Moral of the Story: Pineapples don't have sleeves."
Then, the children are asked reading comprehension questions on the story. Here are two:
Why did the animals eat the pineapple? (again,what kind of story IS this?)
Who had the wisest thing to say? (DD says at this point, there was much whispering that "NO ONE had anything wise to say in this story!" and the teacher had to shush everyone many times. Later some of the teachers, upon reading the story, were so mystified they couldn't maintain straight faces.)
Who picks the stories for the ISAT? was someone all alone in a dark room, petulantly muttering "I'll show 'em!"
Are these questions designed to have all right answers, so the school looks good?
53 comments:
DD gave me the answer options for the question Why did the animals eat the pineapple:
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to
We all voted for answer 'd' but you could make a case for any, don't you think?
Here's another person who
blogged about this same stupid story
It's on the New Mexico test. This is ridiculous!
yeah i had this same prompt in 2006. it was for FCAT (Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test) though. it was ridiculous, everyone was talking about how retarded it was during the short bathroom break. my friends and i all picked different answers for the wisest animals. my one friend choose the moose because "moose are awesome." i choose the owl because he stated the "moral" of the story. i told my father about it and he said it sounded like there was no wrong answer and agreed about it's stupidity.
don't be surprised if your daughter gets the "yiffniff story" for 2008. it retains a word pronounced "yiffniff" that no one can spell. some kid's father makes up this random word and offers shoes or something to whoever could spell it. some kid tries using to L's in reference to spanish but the main character's father says "this isn't spanish" despite the fact it's not a real word in the first place. but atleast the questions aren't as ridiculous.
sorry about the long rant, but hey assessment tests are just flat out stupid.
I'll tell her to be on the lookout for the yiffniff blarney.
There IS a Pinkwater site, where someone asked the author of the Pineapple story, what it all meant.
He says he has written a lot of stuff just for the money, and doesn't even remember this one.
My opinion is he was 'herbally enhanced' at the time of writing it.
I got the "yiffniff" story. All my friends and I are annoyed to no end, because WE WANT TO KNOW HOW TO SPELL THE DARN THING! But the story has generated some interesting responses, such as a group of twenty people going out and buying a big pack of sticky notes each, writing a different spelling on each note, and then gong along and putting them EVERYWHERE!
The pineapple story is... astounding. How could this even make it past the school board?! Who thought, "Hey! This story makes TOTAL sense!" ?
Yeah, exactly. What kind of message does it send to the kids?
There IS no right answer, and they're all busy thinking "WTF??"
ok im 14 and fyi that is not the question!! I took the test and it was hilarious b/c tons of people were arguing over the answer. What i can remember the ? was: which animal was the wisest? and it gave u the choices of a owl, moose, rabbit, or pinaple. I put the moose b/c it was him who said "pineapples dont have sleeves"
ok fyi i took the test and the real ? was, "who was the wisest?" and then it gave you the options of A.the owl B. the moose C.the hare or D. the pineapple and the answer was the moose b/c he said 'pineapples dont have sleeves.'
We had this on our eighth grade SATs. It was completely pointless, and none of the answer choices were straightforward. It was insane.
AH yes! I just took that test and i went online to look it up so I could read it again. Those were the questions I had trouble with today and I didn't really know what to put...but I think I eventually said because they were hungry. My friends and I were talking about afterwords and decided that we must find it and post it on Facebook.
I had that story on my testing today (in Arkansas) i thought it was so stupid, me and my friends couldn't keep ourselves from laughing.
seriously, the moral of the story is that pineapples don't have sleeves? thats nice.
I took this to in 8th grade for the FCAT. I thought it was the dumbest thing ever. Sadly, they have other random story's like this.
One that i had to read on my last FCAT reading one, was about some guy trying to comunnicate with squirrls and how mamuals use the same tones to show emotion. Was not to bad, until he starts talking about how he was afriad to try to talk to the squirle. It was becuase one time, he tried to comunicate with some birds and teach them to do the mateing dance or something. But then the birds got mad and attacked him or something. Then i think he said that he was afriad of being rejected again. WTF!?! Can you say issues.
That is why they need to not make such a big deal about these dumb tests.
We had the same question on the Delaware Student Testing Program, Delawares state test! I was so confused!
It's on the Alabama test too! When I read it, I just put down random answers since I had no clue.
One of the questions was:
Who said the wisest thing:
A.) the moose
B.) the owl
c.) *i can't remember*
D.) *i can't remember*
I'm still confused about the WHOLE thing.
I live in Alabama ,and 2 days ago I took the SAT reading test.This was my favorite story ever.
We had the same story today on the Benchmark. I'm an eighth grader in Arkansas and our whole school was talking about that story all day long. Looking at all the arguing going on about the "Who said the wisest words?" question, I can't help but think, "It was the Owl who said 'Pineapples don't have sleeves.' The only conclusion I can draw from this is that they must have changed the story a little bit. I for one am actually glad this was on the test because there was absolutely nothing fun at all about the Benchmark until this came along!
We had the same question. I am an eighth grader in Arkansas who like took that test two days ago. Fucking retarded if you ask me.
I had to read this story recently for the Arkansas SAT9 test. I am in the eighth grade and it took every ounce of will power i had to not either a) bust out laughing, or b) yell out "what is this???" in the middle of the test... This was one of the stupidest stories I have ever had to read for a standardized test... thhough it was definatly the talk of the school after we took the test and every one got different answers to the questions because, lets face it, there were no good answers...
This was my favorite story on the whole test. XD Made my day.
I just took this test (the SAT), and I had to try not to laugh. This was such a rdiculas story! Does anyone have the original? I'd like to show it to my family.
Also, what is the answer to the question Who was the wisest animal?
I said it was the moose, but I really don't have a clue.
Remember everyone, Pineapples Don't have Sleeves!
Yeah, I just took the SAT in Alabama and that story was on there. After someone I knew contacted the author of the story, he replied that he had no memory of writing that story. It was probably the most humorous thing I have ever seen on this test.
I either had this question on the FCAT (Florida Comprehension Assessment Test)or the NRT (Norm Reference Test) in 2008. I thought it was the NRT because it was in color and the FCAT is not, but I can't remember. Well, anyway, it was the most ridiculous story and I don't remember the questions, but I know I did not know the answers.
This was on the ELA exam for 8th grade this year (actually we took it today!) and no one understood.
We had this story on the grade 8th ELA state test we took today. Man, this story is ridiculously stupid
i aslo had this for nys ela test and the only thing anyone could talk about today was Who was the wisest? even some of the teachers got into the debate! i choose the moose bc he seemed the wisest but i still dont get it and no1 else does, not even my ela teacher! It seems like it was written by a 4th grader i thought it was a joke when i first read it. oh well looks like everyones gonna b in ais english next year
actually today i has my new york state test and i had the same passage! i (and every single one of my classmates) looked at each other like WTF!? for the hell of it i just put that the animals were hungry and that the owl was the wisest. now is that fair if i get it wrong? why did they eat? you could argue every point of why! who was the one who said the wisest thing? NO ONE said a wise thing! in my head i thought the owl only cause the song rocking robin was stuck in my head and also cause the owl is the moral of the story. 4/17/2012
This was on my ELA test in New York today. I almost barfed on the test when they ate the pineapple. I think it might have been on the reading level of a six year old. Who thought it was a good idea to put this story on so many tests!!!!?????!!!!???
actually, it was the owl who said that
I took the Ela Test Today too. I put the owl because it said the moral but a bunch of people said it was the Crow because he had said that the Pineapple was obviously tricking them all and that it wouldn't Challenger the hare for no reason.
I put they ate it because they were Hungry.After 2 hours of just waiting i know i would get pretty hungry too.Hahah but most people put annoyed.
Hey guys I took taht test too today for State test. I was thinking NO DUH pineapples don't have sleeves.. The owl was the wisest cuz he stated the moral before anyone else.. but the one on why they ate it was ridiculous. If the article was so stupid I wonder why they gave it too us not only once but a few times.. I was kinda busy thinkin WTF is going on? instead of answer the questions
I took the nys today and this was on it.....I put they ate the pineapple because they were annoyed. Like come on after waiting 2 hours and looking like an idiot cheering a pineapple on the race!that is absurd!
And I think the hare said the wisest thing because he was the only one that knew that the race was useless..the owl only stated the obvious
It was on the 8th grade ELA we just took! it was such a stupid question! they better not count it
Obviously they are going to count it.
yes,
the owl did say the moral.
I'm 14, I took the NYSELAA(New York State English Language Art Assessment). It was the most confusing after talking to multiple of my friends about this astonishingly stupid passage we agreed that the owl was correct because he stated the moral. Now the moose stated the sentence before "I think pineapple has a trick up his sleeve, said moose. But pineapples don't have sleeves, said owl" This is as exact of a quote as I could get to the real thing. I disagree, you could easily put a build a bear shirt on the stupid pineapple and there you have a pineapple with sleeves.
Fixed of the above comment made by none other than me.
yes,
the owl did say the moral.
I'm 14, I took the NYSELAA(New York State English Language Art Assessment). It was the most confusing passage of the ELA ever. After talking to multiple of my friends about this astonishingly stupid passage we agreed that the owl was correct because he stated the moral. Now the moose stated the sentence before "I think pineapple has a trick up his sleeve, said moose. But pineapples don't have sleeves, said owl" This is as exact of a quote as I could get to the real thing. I disagree, you could easily put a build a bear shirt on the stupid pineapple and there you have a pineapple with sleeves.
im an 8th grader in new york and i just took the ELAs today and that story was on it.. it was the stupidest thing ever because for the entire day ppl kept arguing between the owl or the moose.. i picked the moose but i have no idea. an old lady with blue hair and 999999 cats prolly picks the questions and articles on this test thats why the articles are so demented
Just throwing in my two cents.
I also took the test today, and it also baffled me.
I chose the hare, which seems to be quite the unpopular choice, because he seemed to be the most realistic and correct of the choices provided.
I knew people would choose the owl, because he said the moral of the story. However, I interpreted it as the owl meant it literally while the moral meant it figuratively. Take note that if the owl knew that the pineapple had no tricks up his sleeve, then he would not have agreed to back up the pineapple and cheer him on for the race. However, it's stated that ALL the animals agreed upon this. If the owl knew that pineapples have no tricks then why did he comply with the others?
The animals merely over-analyzed the situation. The hare, to me, seemed like the most reasonable choice, because he was the only one who knew that he was going to beat the pineapple. The other animals somehow thought they were going to look like fools if they didn't root for a tropical fruit.
Unfortunately, this was an atrocious question. All the options have substantial evidence that can bolster them. With any luck, this portion of the examination was a field test and did not count.
I completely agree with the answer being the hare but this question shouldn't even been on the tests. For the rest of the day after the ELAs everyone argued about what animal truely was the wisest. I think this question is purely opinionated and therefore should not be on these tests.
I had this same story for my 8th grade ELA New York state test! Everybody was talking about it afterward & how it didn't make any sense. I read the story at least 5 times over because i was so confused and the story made no sense to me! Also, the questions that came after it was confusing!
I took the NYS ELA test yesterday. I said that the animals were amused. They cleary were, because after sitting there for 2 hours waiting for the pineapple to move, they thought it was funny that he just sat there. I also picked that the owl was the wisest. In my opinion, the passage was a waste of time and even my teachers with masters degrees are still baffled. New York State needs to get their game together, that's all I'm saying.
I also took the NYS test, that was the stupidest story ever. After we took the test, everyone was debating what the answer to who the wisest animal was. Everyone in our class had one of the four answers, either it being the owl, the moose, the crow or the hare. That was stupid and should never have been put on the test.
Thanks NYS and to whoever wrote this stupid piece of writing. Got a kick out of it as well as confusion.
The stupid reading has half of the eighth grade saying "Pineapples don't have sleeves" and it's not funny, just annoying.
it was on the ny state ela's. they d. answer was not present so it was split betwwen a and c in my school. people who put a. said it was their revenge, and people who put c said if i wanted to eat a pineapple it would be because i was hungry not because i was annoyed. the real question is, what skills is this supposed to prove?
I didn't take the test, but my sister did. I later looked this up...and almost laughed to death! Now, motivated by this anti-Aesop Fable, I'm writing a short story about the teachers and any other pineapples on the ELA "education" board.
1 talking dead Pineapple +
1 possibly wise owl +
1 fast Hare +
1 Pearson Test +
32 million dollars from our taxes +
7 countries
=
"The Hare and the Pineapple"
A perfect example of how our tax dollars are being wasted!
New York State is slipping.
Get this, my teachers actually were directed by the handbook to ask us this: "Now, are there any questions on how to DARKEN the CIRCLES?"
Sheesh! No, I am not confused on how to bubble in a stinkin' circle! It's as if they were asking if there were any questions on how to LAUNCH a ROCKET?
Way back, someone decided to use this herbally enhanced story on a state test. Ok - def screw up. Then another state used it too!...and another state. From what I'm reading, it goes back at least six years of being in circulation on state tests. I thought state tests generate new stories so the kids don't already know the answers to stories they may have read.
Way back, someone decided to use this herbally enhanced story on a state test. Ok - def screw up. Then another state used it too!...and another state. From what I'm reading, it goes back at least six years of being in circulation on state tests. I thought state tests generate new stories so the kids don't already know the answers.
Daniel Pinkwater is a funny, subtle writer. I'm familiar with his work, so when I read the pineapple story, my immediate reaction was, "That doesn't read like Pinkwater."
I went Googling around to see what I could find out about it. Result: That's not Daniel Pinkwater's story. What he wrote was a novel in which a character relates a story someone else told him about an eggplant and a rabbit. The moral was, "Never bet on an eggplant."
Pearson apparently obtained the rights to use the original story, then rewrote it into that unholy botch about the pineapple and the hare, and claimed it was by Daniel Pinkwater. In his place, I would sue.
Whose fault is it? Pearson, the publishing company that produced the test. They've been reusing the story about the pineapple and the hare in tests all over the country. Everyone complains about it. Everyone points out that it makes no sense. But Pearson doesn't care, so they keep using it.
In answer to "whose fault is it," it is actually ours - parents', taxpayers', teachers', and administrators'. We need to tell our elected officials to get out of education and let teachers go back to teaching. We need to stop this testing, which causes millions of teaching hours nationwide to be lost for test prep and the actual testing.
I am NOT against having standards and making sure teachers are really teaching and students are learning. BUT, teachers know how to assess and evaluate their students. Principals know how to assess and evaluate their teachers. So let them do it. Each state has standards (and we do not need the common core standards, but that's for another posting).
Quit abusing standardized tests, teachers, students, parents, and administrators not to mention taxpayers. Standardized test were NOT designed to do what we use them for (close schools, pay teachers bonuses, etc.).
Put the money spent on testing (so that Pearson makes piles of money) on teachers, equipment/materials for classes, and to fix schools.
Um...is this some sort of sick mockery of Aesop's The Tortoise and the Hare?
If Aesop were alive today, I don't think he would've liked the NY "Education" Board...
Seriously! Did these officals even think about the kids like me who took the test?
Do you know how insulting it is to put a passage like that on the ELA?
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